operation-let-me-borrow-your-fancy-new-york-clothes- shirtsize: giant boobs

it just keeps getting better.

my new BFF herve made this comment on the latest:

dear Jenny ..
we need to meet !!!
i am so happy to read all the comments , and i am so not use to it !!
i would like you to come to see instead of my house , ( you know it !) but the Carolina Herrera design studio and sample room ( i shall give you a little tour including mrs Herrera's office !.)
how can i give you my email address in a more private way !!!! ahah !!
are you leaving in New York ?
let me know , iremain at your entire disposal .
XOXO
H.Pierre

um...yeah.

it's real.

we have been emailing back and forth for the better part of the last hour.

he has agreed to an interview.

a tour.

and hours of macaron eating and diana vreeland gossiping.

(ok that last part is still just my imagination)

i am still hoping he lets me stalk his apartment.

it's way more interesting to me than stinky old carolina herrera and her ugly dresses. (-joke herve)

unless of course i get to try shit on.

better stop eating fudge.

i actually choked back a little bit of throw up over this one...

i got the new house beautiful yesterday..

some of it was great like this:

and some of it made me wonder if it was 1983, like this:

i mean, isn't it all a bit much?

inlaid tile floors, fussy blue and white backsplash, tin ceilings, leaded glass all the way up, mega fussy cabinetry with spooling and quilting(??), hammered metal sink and 5890852835784798 topiaries...ALL IN ONE ROOM?

i just don't get it at all.

do you?

an open letter to my herve...but he wrote me first cuz i am dumbfamous.

a few weeks ago i did a post about carolina herrera creative director herve pierre's fantastically over the top awesome nyc apartment.

some people loved.

some people hated.

i loved it. still love it. will always love it.

so imagine my loving surprise when herve himself left a comment on the original post

here it is for you to enjoy:

dear all ,
thank you so so much for all the comments about my flat , i must say it was very interesting to read all of them ,, even the bad ones ... ( it s never really pleasant but ... !) i didnt expect that i could read so many commnets on someone's appartment !
it was a very fun experience to do it for the New York Magazine first and then The Selby published all the other pictures ..
i did nt have the feeling that it could give th eimpression of a hoader's home ! its interesting to see each pictures separatly when you know the overall ... for the fridge picture , i was asking if someone wanted to drink something and they asked me if they could take a picture of the fridge ! its true that i like chocolate !! and i didnt eat at home that week !!
glad some people liked the cardborad frame ! as well as the house of card ,
for the hermes box , they are full of family pictures !
well if you have any questions about my flat , ask me !
( hope i didnt make too many mistakes , my english is not really good ..)
thank you .
H. Pierre

still cleaning the pee off my floor.

my dearest herve.

i had to go and re-read my original post.

in doing so i was wondering if you were a little lost in translation.

i realize that half of what i say is the opposite of what i mean.

what am i, 12?

sors.

anyhoodles,

i know you're french which already makes you pretty much awesomer than most of us.

so i want you to understand in the plainest english that i am capable of..

I LOVE YOUR APARTMENT.

I THINK IT IS UNIQUE, FABULOUS, BEAUTIFUL, INTERESTING, FUN, ORIGINAL AND FRESH. THEIR IDEA OF HOARDING IS MY IDEA OF A FABULOUS COLLECTION.

I WOULD BE HONORED TO BE INVITED TO EAT ALL OF YOUR MACARONS WHILE YOU WATCHED ME. 

SHARE YOUR MACARONS WITH YOU.

I THINK YOU ARE SUPER.

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU LIVE A FABULOUS LIFE AND DO FABULOUS THINGS THAT MOST OF US ONLY WISH WE DID.

YOUR HOME LOOKS LIKE IT REFLECTS YOU.

A FEAT THAT MANY OF US TRY TO DO AND END UP DOING TERRIBLY.

THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY TO TELL US THAT THOSE HERMES BOXES SERVE A PURPOSE.

I KNEW THEY DID,

I JUST KNEW IT.

double cheek kisses to you.

love,

jenny

 

fuck all the haters herve.

crying real bitter tears that only poor people like myself cry when they STILL can't afford an awesome deal.

 my pal nelya from head over heels gave me the heads up about an awesome deal on one king's lane today.

for the bathroom makeover:

orig. $269

SALE: $89

dying.

orig. $469

SALE: $159

dead.

i have never even seen such pretty vanity fixtures!!!

not being able to take advantage of this sale makes me want to throat chop your mom.

for those that asked.

the bathroom makeover is stalled...only slightly.

i need to do one more coat of paint.

i went to home depot so they could mix me up a martha sample and they were out of the base needed to do so.

haven't had a chance to get to a different home depot.

just got this hook today for towels just outside the shower door:

actually the one i bought isn't EXACTLY like this...they didn't have an image on the anthro site of it.

it's the same base with the 3 handle thingys but the arms aren't ridged and no scrolly bits on the base, the balls are white, and the whole thing is shiny nickel.

it looks more than the 20 dollars it cost and it weighs a ton.

the wall area that the towel hooks will go on is very narrow and small so this works perfect.

also..i want this mirror for mike's vanity sink area:

it's not available until november.

it's only $119.

so i have lots of time to save!!!!

the paint i am thinking about is pink sea salt by martha stewart.

her colors are so good.

pink sea salt is white with lots of pink in it.

there is so much light in the bathroom that i am fairly certain it will read more white than pink.

but i found with the pinky beigey peach-ish pukefart tiles in there now, bright white just made the tiles stand out like a sore thumb.

i think the the pink sea salt will make the whole room feel like it was done on purpose.

possibly making the tiles look...(gulp) good?

but i am still going to do a test when i can get my hands on a sample.

if i had those damn light fixtures i swear to god i would run naked across a football field.

ok maybe not bc i would surely have 2 black eyes.

nope.

i would for sure.

kitchens of my dreams..

i love the open shelves displaying everyday items like art.

some of you will bitch about shit getting dirty, dusty, greasy...etc..

and i agree. but i don't think i care.

i am hoping the air vent is powerful and sucks all the cooking grease up inside.

(and don't even start about having to reach shit...i am sure the ladder is just out of the shot. i know you people better than you think)

there is something so very ancient french cellar bakery about this..

and also maybe morgue-ish?

i think it's delightful.

i LOVE how this one is so small but so elegant and UN-kitcheny.

i have always been a fan of small kitchens for their coziness and room for only one person quality.

i know the majority of people want a big kitchen so people can gather and talk while the cooking is going on.

i am the opposite by a mile.

when i cook i want to do it alone and i don't want anyone to talk to me for too long bc i get distracted and end up fucking shit up.

not too big, not too small. 

but very cozy.

i am unsure about the square tiles though. i think i like them. maybe.

but look at all of those oils and potions over by the stove.

mine looks this way.

i corral all of my goodies in a west elm white lacquer tray.

love it.

i need to see more though.

it had me at that fireplace.

and the windows.

i'm sure i have this issue of elle decor where perhaps there is more to see.

anyone know which issue it is?

what if...****fuckshitballbutt update

 i took these chairs (there are 4)...

OR these chairs (also 4)...

paired the chosen 4 with this...

***THIS IS SOLD!!!!***  

many levels of hate.

to create a little something like this...

things you should know...

my dining table looks just like this only it is oval and bigger (and a darker stain)

should i go this route the chairs and the settee would be painted the same color.

these are all on craigs and all rully rully cheap.

like 40-bucks-for-all-of-it-cheap.

opinions please.

also:

throw it in my mouth.